Oceans and Roads

Hello one, hello all! I am back again, and I apologize for the lack of posts. I wish I could tell you that the whole time I've been absent has been spent taking a voyage on the seas of my inner self and washing up on the correct shores. Unfortunately, I cannot tell you that. A lot of time has been spent with school, and procrastinating on school matters. Another good chunk of time has been spent by me being hypocritical, and losing sight of who I really am (which I seem to manage to do quite often, and this has led me to the conclusion that I am not a worthwhile person - but that is not the point here).

As I was saying, I've been attempting to mold myself into the person that I think my friends, family, God, and myself would want to see. So far, I have failed in so many ways. Let me explain:
I believe that change is a beneficial and necessary part of life (this is one of the only things I have figured out about life at all) and I believe that if you are not moving forward, you are not moving. So I have been trying to find out who I really am and improve the things that need to be improved in hopes to create a more genuine, kind, responsible, friendly, not hypocritical person. And in some areas, I think I am improving. I've been able to connect with people more, and hopefully not come off so unfriendly. But I've also let my ego get in the way, and that has caused me to act and speak in a way that completely resets any movement I've made in the proper direction.

Another thing I have learned about life is that it really is a journey. And, just like Frodo in Lord of the Rings (yes, I am a complete nerd), he changes as a person from the start to finish of his journey. I have changed before, and I have changed in many not so good ways, but I am certainly searching for the right track again. I hope and pray that I will find that road, and not be walking in the opposite lane when I do find it.

This post is a short one, and I'm certain that it's one of my more boring and selfish posts, but it was weighing on my heart. So I wrote about it. I hope all of you have a wonderful day and week, and if you are trying to change, that you change for the right things.

Also, I do believe that God created us as the person He wants us to be, we just sometimes have to find that person again. Or, at least I have to.