Faith and Joy

Today, I had a very meaningful conversation with my father about Faith and what it really means to have Faith. It was struck up by some feelings I have had about my own faith-walk and such. Let me start off with recounting a dream I had today.

I really don't remember much of it, but what I do remember is vivid and stirring, at least to myself. I was in a room, seemingly alone. The walls were bare, and there were no windows but somehow dim light was coming in. Suddenly, things started shaking, I heard voices and laughter. I remember my father coming in to the room, and assuring me that there was a demonic presence in the room. I called out to it, telling it to come forward. It stopped, then cackled a little bit more. Then - I heard a voice. Someone, be it myself or some other disembodied speaker, was telling me not to give up. Not to lose Faith. To be strong, because God would protect me. I then woke up.

I was moved to tears when I awoke. Maybe I was crying out of fear, or maybe I was crying because of the reassuring voice telling me things were going to be fine. It really got me thinking about my faith-walk and how I'm not where I'd like to be. And that prompted the discussion with my Dad.

Please excuse that long and personal segue into what I really want to talk about. Hopefully this one will reach out to more people than me telling you about my dream could.

Faith is a boulder. It's strong and cannot be moved or shaken. This is the conclusion we came to. Once you have it, it shouldn't leave you. But it's only when you really achieve it. That's what I've been worried about. How do you know when you actually achieve it? I once thought I did, and I now know I haven't. But I think you would really be able to tell when you have it. It's like the difference between happiness and joy - one is fleeting, but feels nice and cozy, and the other one offers peace, but takes time and effort. A lot of time and effort most Christians don't seem to want to give. God is looking to see if we'll put in that time and effort, not looking to see how many good deeds we've done so we can buy our golden pass to heaven. Really, a big piece of this is just Faith.

My brain is rather scattered right now, and this probably makes no sense at all. But it was another ghost weighing on my heart. This was also meant in no way as being evangelistic. I believe there are people to do that sort of thing, and that does not include me.